I should have started this series a little earlier but I’m beginning to work myself out of the fog and be able to look back with some clarity so this is a good time. These won’t be in any particular order. These are just some posts out of where I’m living right now, that is to say, tying to be a good daddy. The ultimate tip is to know who you are and why you are; then to be a good daddy you emulate who God is, not “who God is to you” but who God IS.
First off, I really have to hand it to my wife, Vicki- and no, she doesn’t read this so I’m not fishing- The woman hasn’t had a full nights sleep in about 7 or 8 months. Pregnancy was a picnic compared to getting up every 3-4 hours for feedings or pumping, or just to roll him over because he gets fussy at 3 am. I help too but she’s definitely better at hearing him in her sleep than I am. Oh, by the way, the pediatrician’s definition of “sleeping through the night” is 5 hours not 8. Luckily he is sleeping much longer these days so the rest is coming back slowly but surely. So, she hasn’t gotten much sleep, and she’s juggling work and home-life –
And, there is this incredible amount of stuff that you have to have when you have a baby (don’t fret, you get most of it at your baby showers, make sure you invite anyone you and your spouse and your parents and grandparents and you last roommates ever knew to your shower). You tell yourself that you won’t be that family that needs a U-haul just to go to the grocery store. But, unless you’re just strapping your baby over your shoulder then you need somewhere for them to sit, lie down, ride, and sleep. Most of that takes place strapped into the car seat for the first few months. Car seats (sometimes called baby carriers in the baby books) are good for toting, and popping up on top of shopping carts, in and out at church, RIDING AROUND THE BLOCK HUNDREDS OF TIMES WHEN YOU CAN’T GET THEM TO STOP CRYING, and you’ll want to strap toys to it so they are accessible and don’t fall on the ground.
So, you’ve got a car seat, mostly because its the law but partially because it keeps them from rolling around in the fast food bags in the floorboard. TIP: Most hospitals won’t let you leave until you show them your car seat so put it in the trunk of the car before you go for the delivery (clean out your trunk too, you’ll need it for lots of stuff later.) HAVE A TRAINED PRO install your seat or at least check it after you’ve installed it ie. Police officers, Firefighters, and EMTs are a good place to start.
Car seat = half of your backseat is gone for a couple of years + you’ll get very tired of flipping the seat forward so start saving up for a 4 door, and if you can get one that is up off the ground a bit, like say, a crossover kind of thing then go for that (at least a V6, a 4 banger just can’t pull anything bigger than a go-cart. (Where are you going to get the money for this??? See this post) So, the car seat snaps down into the stroller, and you’ll have to carry that around too, hence the trunk cleaning. We have a Kia Sportage. God sent it to us at a great deal so we don’t complain, however, if we were looking for something these are some of the things we’d look for in a baby vehicle.
I like small and aero-dynamic so it saves on gas. Driving a box shaped vehicle in the Oklahoma wind is not fun. Saving on gas is great but like I said if you want something bigger than a breadbox get a 6 cylinder. Easily accessible trunk or tailgate with as much space as you can afford. Big rear doors, enough leg room so that the front seats don’t scrub on the car seat when its installed. If you get one with a door/tailgate kind of thing that most SUVs have- get one without the tire that has to swing open before you open the door. If not you’ll have to have your hands empty and a very wide space to get everything open. Oh, and if you can, 2001 and newer models have built in lower anchors and/or tethers. Here is the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) “Car Safety Seats: A Guide for Families 2009″ The Sportage is a good choice, it has a large rear space and it sits up high (gets tedious bending to put the seat into a car that’s low to the ground), and it has 4-wheel drive which is going to be nice this winter, I just wish it had a more powerful engine to pull the 4×4, us and our stuff driving into the wind. If we hadn’t gotten the Kia we were going to get an Isuzu Rodeo. Its the same exact car as the Honda Pilot just with different branding and it was in the $4000-$5000 range for a 2002-4 model depending on the equipment. I don’t encourage you to spend money just making a recommendation if that’s where you happen to be.
In restaurants you’ll find the carseat indispensible. It keeps the baby strapped in place so you can eat. Sometimes they get fussy and want out but usually not before you’ve had a chance to get a couple of bites down. Safety tips in resaurants: DONT use a flipped over high chair as a car seat base. They are highly unstable and tip over very easily. You will be tempted and the server or host will tell you that people do it all the time. Don’t give in! The seat will fit great in a booth with the front on the table and the back against the booth back (only in places where the table doesn’t move). Slings are great in restaurants, they have two nylon staps that the support the seat and will accept most any shape.
So, what’s the take-away from all this: The Carseat and stroller have the potential to cost you $5160, depending on the stroller you choose.
Any other dads got any Carseat / baby vehicle suggestions? Leave a comment to share.
It seems everywhere I look and listen lately I hear stories of men and women living in painful addictions to lust. Be it porn, infidelity, sexual abuse, anger, same sex attractions, fantasies or even seeking to up their value as a person through non-sexual intimate relationships. Be there, done that, still dealing with on some levels and definitely dealing with the consequences of my choices. Just a few examples: