A few years ago I was on a real search for my identity as a Christ follower. “What job am I supposed to have?” “Who should I date?” “Should I get married” all the important life questions. I found myself searching for answers through the Sunday morning sermon, the preachers on the radio, a bible study workbook, friends, family, and any other influence I could find. I was believing that God would use one or all of these resources to direct me. What I found was confusion on a mass scale. I was conflicted on all the aforementioned issues.
The answer came in the for of a statement and a couple of questions. I turned to my brother, Jesse, who is a pastor. Told him of my turmoil and all my questions. He promptly changed the subject, (the jerk) he didn’t give any of my problems any thought, he just asked, “Have you been reading your bible lately?
“No, the bible’s not going to tell me what job I should be looking for.”
“How’s your prayer life been?
“Horrible, I don’t know what to pray for so I don’t”
Then I caught on. He then told me that there were too many voices in my head. While they were all good sources there were too many. I calmed down. So, turn off the all the different voices and start building your system of support led by One Voice.
I think everyone is at different stages in their growth and walk, and its hard to know whose ahead of you and who’s behind. It takes time and careful study to find a man that has your interests at heart and who can speak into your life.
There are a couple of relationships we need to have:
An unconditional Master. That is the person of Jesus Christ. His leading comes from: 1. seeking Him in the Bible. (If you haven’t read Jesus’ story in the Bible before I recommend the gospel of John. ) 2. Humbling yourself to pray 3. and finding a good pastor (Acts 2:42). God knows its hard for us to submit to an authority over us but don’t think of God standing over us making us eat our vegetables. Think football coach, admired professor, someone who knows the path and took the time to show you the way.
And, you need a small company of men. Earthly brothers that can provide a network of support, encouragement, and someone to help move furniture. You think I’m kidding. A small community of committed men can do anything God leads them to accomplish. Most resources say groups of 6-8 are best for genuineness. You probably won’t find a good one in the yellow pages but if you have a church with a small group program there is bound to be a couple groups of men meeting. How to find a good group?
Only 1 rule: Rule number 1. What is said at group, stays at group. Not even your wife or other buddies get to know what the other men are going through. You’ll know a good group if guys are able to speak freely, honestly, real, and without fear of somebody jumping on their case. If you feel you can trust the guys then you take the chance to get stuff off your chest. There is a real leap of faith to communicating with a group. You have to trust that these guys will keep your secrets and die with them, but if one happens not to then it won’t end your world. God will take care of your heart. But, I admit it is liking stepping off a cliff. My advice for your first outing is to find a guide and go repelling. Then you’ll know what its like to trust your support system. I won’t go into resolving whatever conflict is bound to pop up. Controversy is a good thing, it means you actually talking.
If you can’t find a group then ask a couple of guys to meet at a coffee house. Maybe the first time is with a respected elder or the pastor who gives you some jumping off points for your meetings. Meet once a week Talk about your jobs, families, what you wanted to be when you grew up. My biggest recommendation is to get the “Band of Brothers” DVDs from Ransomed Heart Ministries. Or, the Warrior sermon series. It won’t take long before you won’t need topics to get a good discussion going.
Tell us about your men’s group or, use this space to commit to starting one, no matter what!!
