I just sent a friend an email asking for prayer. Life’s going great. The baby’s on the way, I’m in a good place with work and home, the family stuff is hard to navigate, but isn’t it always? All that stuff’s good, the problem is with the calling. I get pumped up when the goals are clear and the payoff is huge but when it comes time to draw the map I get overwhelmed with fear. Someone diagnosed it in me once, they called it the “Paralysis of Analysis.” I was struck dumb with the realization that he’d just hit the nail of the problem squarely on the head. It absolutely fit. I embodied that phrase in every way… But, It didn’t help, except now when I am stressed I can say, “I have “Paralysis of Analysis” and I go play Madden on the Playstation.
Its like taking a trip. I get hyped up on going somewhere, I get out the map, I can see the direction to go but I can’t decide most efficient way to get there– plane, train, or automobile– so I just stay home. Same with decision making… I get a picture of the “destination” or “outcome” in my head and how great it would be to see that goal realized. But then I start to consider the different ways I’d go about making the journey. Should I start a group? Should I start a group for the leaders of the groups so that they’ll be better equipped to go start their own group? Should I have a weekend experience that gets ‘em interested in meeting as a group and hope that a group forms? Should I start an online presence (blog) with content that makes people think about it and then hope they find a group that helps them reach it? What is “it?” “It” is a great book by Craig Groeschel but that’s not important right now. What’s important is telling God, “I know this is the purpose you have set in my heart but have no idea how to do it, but I’m not taking another step until you tell me where to put my foot.” and then repeat. I’m learning that ts the same with every business/relationship/dialogue/endeavor.
God, I know this is the purpose you have set in my heart but have no idea how to do it, but I’m not taking another step until you tell me where to put my foot.
I could use some comments on this one. Load me up with how you push down the fear and overcome.
The first thing that struck me while reading your post, was “baby steps”. I haven’t seen the movie “What About Bob?” but I’ve heard about it. That’s what I would recommend.
Most of the time in my life, I don’t see the end goal. I just see where I am now, and possibly a few “baby steps” ahead. Obviously, I have all the past steps to reflect on. You are lucky to have the end goal.
Here is one example of God leading me this way, from very recent times:
Many months ago a friend (you) approached me about developing a website to help leaders find small group members and vice versa. You and I started the project, which was eventually taken over by the team at the church. Little did I know, this would open a huge door for me.
I have some experience developing web sites, just no professional experience. There was no way I could think of that would have gotten them to even consider employing me. So I didn’t do anything about it.
God led me to where he wanted me to be through a means I would not even have considered. Pretty amazing stuff. I was in the dark as to where I was headed, I just took each step that God told me to. This is exactly what you are talking about.
Fear is a great enemy and planning life is just so much easier than actually living it. We can all be great in our own minds and in our plans. I know you have a great mission as there are so many men is this world who need help and need connection. The wake up call for me came while reading Wild at Heart. I knew I needed to be a better man for my son, my wife and for other men. You will do what the Lord has planned.
I like the other post “Baby Steps”. I think just by asking you have taken one of those steps.
Yes, you “have to Walk with God” in those baby steps. I also think the “cloud” of witnesses is really important – not for “accountability” as many might think, but for prayer, support, community. It is easy to be stuck in a great idea with a few that really agree with you (like me), but widening community can help to bring the need God wants you to fill to the surface.
And the “push down the fear” thing – don’t do it, it’ll give you a nasty case of the runs – you know where your fears need to be pushed . . . “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you” 1 Peter 5:7.
A bit of rambling . . .
Noel: Hey, you can’t make digs at me in “comment” form. I’m blaming my slackness on the holidays. (I’m behind in our reading of the Walking with God workbook.)
Kevin, you and David are absolutely right. (Welcome David, glad to see you here.) I’ve only just begun to actually examine my life in terms of “Purpose” and “Walking with God” but I can look back and see that there were times when I didn’t know where I was supposed to be going and had to …well back then I didn’t rely on anything. I just went where the money was.
BTW: “GuyNews” re-tweeted today’s post, give him a read at http://twitter.com/guynews