From Bert: Its a Big Day here at the MoP!! If you pay very close attention you’ll see the new by-line above. Noel is a close friend and very large reason MenOnPurpose is what it is today. Without his encouragement I don’t think I’d have stuck with it this long. Which is why it gives me great pleasure to introduce him as a contributing member of the cast. (With Noel as an author the readership just dropped by a 10th, hopefully his contribution will attract / appeal to a larger audience.) Glad to have you here brother! Everyone, welcome Noel.

Man 2 Man

by Noel

One of the purposes of MenOnPurpose.com is to provide tools to encourage men in their daily walk; real-time information.  As I come across podcasts, vidcasts, articles or blog posts I will do my best to get them to you in a timely manor.

I caught a couple of great podcasts from Focus on the Family this week.   The September 3rd and 4th shows featured Gordon Dalbey speaking on “Healing the Masculine Soul: How God Restores Men to Real Manhood“.  I found the discussion encouraging and thought provoking.  The content is similar to Wild at Heart with a slightly different take.  You can surf over to the Daily Broadcast archives and give the shows a listen as well as check out some additional content:

• Man to Man (part 1 of 2)
• Man to Man (part 2 of 2)

or you can fire up itunes and search the podcast directory for Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast (yes, I had to break down and use the “i”).

Gordon Dalbey is an author and a conference speaker who has addressed audiences around the world. His books include Healing the Masculine Soul, Sons of the Father and Fight Like a Man. Gordon holds an M.Div from Harvard, an M.A. in journalism from Stanford and a B.A. in mathematics from Duke. He and his wife reside in California.  You can learn more about Gordan’s ministry at AbbaFather.com

We seem to be coming across some great media on the web that is related to men. Noel (frequent commentator and friend) is going to be highlighting some video he’s found and I discovered gem in my email today from a long time Men’s Ministry advocate.

I have deleted this text twice thinking that I shouldn’t get into this mix but after reading the full article and considering what I’ve read of this man I knew I had to feature this post:

David Murrow is the Director of Church for Men.com. He has written 2 books on the subject of why men are uninterested/leaving church and has a ton of great resources on his site. I hope to attend his seminar one day.

Today in his newsletter he made a claim I didn’t believe at first but read with amazement. He is a friend of

Sarah Palin and David Murrow at a book signing for Why Men Hate Going to Church, April 9, 2005

Sarah Palin, yes, the Vice Presidential Candidate. Here is the full article on the brand new “Church for Men” blog: Who is Sarah Palin? A friend of mine…

No matter what you think of Palin, please support David and his books and ministry at ChurchforMen.com

Click here for Part 1

The problem with writing a blog like this is that you can’t mention that you’re going through a rough patch and then not follow up on it to let readers know what’s going on. Ok, so here’s my follow up. There’s a new leak in the roof, our savings are at a 2 year low, and I haven’t heard from the family…

However, I’m doing much better in my spirit. Here’s what I’ve done to bring about some change:

I talked to my wife, actually, we had a big confrontation that ended up with me getting real about a lot of stuff I’ve been holding in. One of the comments that I think triggered some change was, “I think we should forget about being married and work on being honest with each other.” It was in the context that we’d been “weather proofing” the other from our feelings about things (mostly me) and I wanted/needed her to know what was going on in my head. We talked it all the way through to some steps to take to change.

I’ve also taken the opportunity to go into deeper conversation with friends. A couple of guys called when they read the first post and I swallowed my pride and let them share what I was going through. I think the Bible calls that “Bearing one another’s burdens,” and you don’t know what it fully means until you start letting others help you with yours. Typically we only take other’s burdens we don’t want to give ours, that only opens us up to half the blessing (there’s a sermon in there somewhere).

One of those steps is that I’ve started meeting with God in the mornings, at least for now I’m inviting him and I’m reading the Bible. I think I’m hearing from him but I’m not sure, I’m trusting that I’ll be walking on faith for a while and then at some point he’ll confirm it. Its odd that I can trust him for my salvation but I don’t trust him to care about my life. After all why would he care to “save” me if he didn’t like me?

As a result I’ve found the ability to be thankful 1. that we had the ability to get debt free a few years ago and now we’ve had the money to pay for a majority of the car repairs (about $2300 $3000 so far). 2. We were able to take a great vacation with old friends and recharge. 3. I work for some great people, there are much worse ways to make a living. There are more but I won’t gush. Suffice it to say: I can see the good side.

Next, Like I said in the last post, I started reading (listening) to Walking with God, by John Eldredge. Its one of those books that as you read it you start thinking of the people you’re going to buy it for. It is quickly climbing the charts as one of the most important books I’ve ever read. I’ll give you a book report when I’m done.

Lastly, One of the steps Vicki and I discussed was me getting back in with a group of men to meet with regularly. We’re really tight with our couple’s “lifegroup” and for the past little while I’ve been counting the guys in there as my “Men’s Group.” That doesn’t work. Conversation with them is typically in front of the ladies and doesn’t get to the core where it should. Even when we do have a deeper discussion its not often enough to keep after the issues and they fade rather than getting dealt with.

Greetings if this is your first time here. Scott Williams from the Big is the New Small weblog asked me to post and host while he is on vacation this week (Sept 1-5 ‘08).

Introduction

By way of introduction my name is Bert Boan, and I run this blog Men on Purpose. I am married and expecting our first child (BertandVicki.com), starting a new business (Clear Focus Web Design) and I write a technical blog for myself, friends and family (13blue.com).

Help Wanted

Men on Purpose is started as a way to organize and record my thoughts as I begin a journeyman men’s ministry. The next stage is to produce content to turn it into a fully featured Men’s E-zine for the male Christ follower. If this is an area of interest for you, please let me know. I would like to partner with other churches, leaders, and writers to grow this project. Our purpose is to affect perminant change in the lives of men to grow leaders, mentors, and warriors for the kingdom.

New Section

If you have or know of an active men’s group in your area please let me know. I am finalizing a new section for the blog, a directory for men’s groups, their purpose, size, and location.

I don’t know how to do it. Over the past few weeks things have been weighing heavy. A family member misunderstood something I said and made it sound like I was being unfair, then I find out other family members are feuding, There is something wrong with every car I have, the lawn mower is broken and the weeds are taking over. It just seems like every direction I turn things are harder than they need to be. Projects are pulling my free time to pieces. Oh my, crap there is no time to be healthy or workout. The house is falling apart… It all weighs heavy on the spirit, I actually feel shorter.

We’re having a baby (no, that’s a GREAT thing) and Vicki and I have been closer than ever, but the world seems to be falling apart around us. I’ve started to listen/read the bible more and pray as often as I think about it (though it hasn’t been very structured). What else do I need to read? Do I need to start giving more time or money? I’d like to reboot, start over and do things right but then reality sets in and I feel trapped by having to live in the skin I’m in. I’ve found myself looking for ways to escape. I’m playing more Playstation and other more dangerous drugs.

Really, there’s nothing I’d rather have than a great relationship with God and to live correctly in what he has for me. I know that would give me a peace that would carry me through anything. But these days when someone asks, “Hey, how’s it going?” my face drops and I just can’t lie.

I think the key this time is that I’ve told my wife, that things are not going well (not voluntarily, it came out in a bad way, but we talked it out and she knows now). Typically I would hold on to that and plow through like a man. This time I gave it up and was honest, like a Man!

This morning I couldn’t stand it any more, I got up and started to write this. I felt like I needed to get  the Audio version of “Walking with God,” John Eldrege. I haven’t listened to music in a long time, I got my iPod and found “podcasts” I like to be learning while I’m stuck in my truck. I think I need what’s in this book. At least I know I need what the title offers, I’ll let you know if it helps.