I’m discovering a new attitude toward prayer. Lately we’ve been looking for answers, answers for selling our house or not, replacing cars or fixing them, baby names, starting a lifegroup or joining one, etc.

Last Sunday morning I met with a group of men and we were all sharing some prayer requests. One of the guys said that he didn’t know what to do about a situation and one of the guys teased, “you’ve tried nothing and nothing worked, huh?” I realized that was me. When times are good I thank God, when times are bad I question him. My attitude is based on my situation. I got tired of it this week. I wanted answers and I wanted them now. But, I’ve not done anything to get the answers except throw up my hands and be pissed off.

A picture flashed in my mind, a couple actually. The first was Uma Thurman from Kill Bill 2 when she was training with the kung fu master and he kept shutting her down and making her do the small hard tasks that eventually led to her mastery, then Ralph Macchio in all three Karate Kids. Its the same way in the military (never been in, but, “Welcome Home,” to everyone who has). They get rid of the old you and then build you back up. I’m expecting Christ to change me but I’m not doing anything to change me. “If you love me you’ll keep my commandments” It hit me, what Eldredge, Groeschel, Neil Anderson, and others have all been saying in the books I’ve been reading. If you want to hear from God you have to read the Word he sent. So, I’ve adjusted my day to start 1 1/2 – 2 hours earlier and am reading the bible. And listening to it on my iPod. Just the Bible, trying not to listen to a bunch of preachers or reading the bible notes, just the meat.

My new attitude is to shut up and wait. To be observant, I don’t need God to “speak” to me I want to be open enough to feel the “flow” of what he’s doing around me and then be able to move where he’s guiding me. Kind of like the force but knowing that there is a “Force” that loves me, purposed me, and is looking out for me, wherever I end up. But I won’t be open to that unless I’m in the Word.

I haven’t stopped talking to God and I’m asking more questions than ever, but I’m not “questioning” If you catch my meaning. I’m not asking “Why,” I’m asking, “should I do this, or this?”  ” What do you want me to learn here?” “What am I to learn here?”

What do you think?  Should I be acting like David and mad at God when things are against me? or Should I be the willing pupil?